Lately I've been playing this game on Facebook. It's called FarmTown. It's a simulated farming game where the player is given a plot of land and she can do whatever she wants with it. As a player you can grow crops of various vegetables and grains. You can grow an orchard of trees, and you can have animals that wander around your acreage. At first I thought it was a harmless little game. So, I gave it a whirl and something unexpected started happening.
You see, I was harvesting my virtual wheat yesterday and I had the distinct experience of feeling fulfilled. That's right, fulfilled. And I thought to myself...weird. I'm not actually "doing" anything and yet I feel a sense of completion, gratification and accomplishment. Immediately, I began to tell myself that I shouldn't be feeling this way. That, in some way it was not the appropriate response to a game. I can hear myself now; "Don't be silly Renata...it's just a game." or "What would people say if they new you felt this way?" All of these thoughts, feelings and emotions came up and I was curious why. Why, first of all do I feel fulfilled? Secondly, why would I discount any emotions about it?
Is it possible that I'm accessing a deep memory of actually farming? A genetic or ancestral memory. Maybe I really enjoyed being a farmer in my past life. And if that is true, and I derive some pleasure out of virtually farming my land, maybe I should keep doing it. It certainly is a lot less effort than digging in the dirt. I don't really know for sure what this is all about...but I think I'll keep doing it all the same until I figure it out.