Digging in the Dirt, or Not

Lately I've been playing this game on Facebook. It's called FarmTown. It's a simulated farming game where the player is given a plot of land and she can do whatever she wants with it. As a player you can grow crops of various vegetables and grains. You can grow an orchard of trees, and you can have animals that wander around your acreage. At first I thought it was a harmless little game. So, I gave it a whirl and something unexpected started happening.

You see, I was harvesting my virtual wheat yesterday and I had the distinct experience of feeling fulfilled. That's right, fulfilled. And I thought to myself...weird. I'm not actually "doing" anything and yet I feel a sense of completion, gratification and accomplishment. Immediately, I began to tell myself that I shouldn't be feeling this way. That, in some way it was not the appropriate response to a game. I can hear myself now; "Don't be silly Renata...it's just a game." or "What would people say if they new you felt this way?" All of these thoughts, feelings and emotions came up and I was curious why. Why, first of all do I feel fulfilled? Secondly, why would I discount any emotions about it?

Is it possible that I'm accessing a deep memory of actually farming? A genetic or ancestral memory. Maybe I really enjoyed being a farmer in my past life. And if that is true, and I derive some pleasure out of virtually farming my land, maybe I should keep doing it. It certainly is a lot less effort than digging in the dirt. I don't really know for sure what this is all about...but I think I'll keep doing it all the same until I figure it out.

Any thoughts?

Psychic Fitness

Our fabulous gym teachers dressed as Men In Black for the launch of the new classes today.

This beautiful July morning my hubby and I went to three fitness classes at our local gym. Oh my goodness! Or as my sister would say Omg. Actually, I thought I would be a lot more fatigued than I really am. Which is a good sign that I’m getting more stamina, and healthier, right? That’s what I’m going on. Afterward I felt a nice sense of peace, tranquility and relaxation. It probably helped that the last class we did called “Body Combat” is based on martial arts. I’m pretty sure it allowed me to release some anger or irritation or frustration or…something that I didn’t even know existed.

According to well respected metaphysicians, grinding your teeth is a signal that you have some unresolved rage. This isn’t the best news for me. I have been grinding my teeth for almost my entire life. So I have to ask myself, what I was raging about when I was an infant. Perhaps a past life thing? I don’t know and maybe I never will. I do know, however, that taking Body Combat this morning was enlightening. And apparently, I still have a few more things to work out in this lifetime because there seems to be a lot of umph behind that right hook of mine.

Too bad I can’t just punch away real life problems. It might be easier and slightly less involved than hashing out all the emotional drama that I am so want to do. I just love to assign reason and logic to all of life’s situations. I think it might be better to just give me an invisible punching bag and I’ll kickbox my way to a healthier psyche…

Anyone up to creating a prototype?

Nose Dives & Predators

Have you ever seen a bird challenge a cat?

Often times I miss my cats. I say my cats not because I believe they are my cats, but for the ease of conversation. I really believe that it's more like we are their humans. And, if you know me, you know that animals play a larger role in my life than do many other things and leaving my cats was one of the hardest things I have ever done. So, when I see the furry feline friends I find myself watching, gazing and admiring them. I find that animals tell us exactly what is going on with us at exactly the right time. They act as a sort of mirror in a way, shedding light on our lives.

This morning I had the great privilege of being reminded of my kitty Timmie. Timmie was one of those cats that owned the place. She was large and in charge. She had long hair and her coloring looked like a tuxedo. She lived on our three acres with a sense of entitlement and pride. She was a skilled huntress and while she carried a few extra pounds she could run like the wind if she had to.

Thoughts of her were running through my mind when I looked out of my big window in the back room this morning and saw a beautiful black cat walking through our yard. The kitty seemed to be walking toward our bird fountain to get a drink of water. She slowly sauntered with her ears pointed slightly back, looking a bit agitated. And then, seemingly out of nowhere came a small grey and white bird chirping loudly and aiming right for the cat! This tiny bird would fly from a tree branch, nose dive toward the cat and barely miss the fur on her tail. She did this over and over again for many minutes. For a moment I watched as the story unfolded.

And while I was watching I remembered that birds used to do this to Timmie...right after she snatched their eggs from the nest. You see, Timmie didn't really play fair when it came to hunting. Anything was fair game. So when I realized that this bird had the same kind of force and urgency that the birds who hunted Timmie had, I knew that something unpleasant must have happened. This birdie was NOT happy. For me, I didn't need to know the whole story. I just knew that this cat represented something threatening or menacing to the bird and this bird was not just going to take it. This bird was not going to back down or fly away to a safe place. She was going to stay and fight.

So it got me to thinking. If something as delicate and small as a bird has the courage to challenge a fierce black cat five times her size, what might I have the courage to do? What situation or person or place or thing in my life presents itself as a predator that I want to challenge? Do I have the same kind of courage as that little bird?

Well, I believe I do...and I might as well get started. What's first on my list? That's a different question.

What I really want to know is where do I learn to nose dive?